Heeeey, look who’s a young and fresh 28! Gosh, I didn’t wanna say what I’ve been saying on every one of my birthdays since I turned 25 but I can’t help it… How am I 28??? How!? Like in my mind I really should still be 21. But anyway, yeah I’m a massive year older. A proper, full blown adult “apparently” LOL. Last year when I turned 27 I went through a quarter life slash existential crisis characterized by asking myself “WTF am I doing with my life!?!?!?” repeatedly. This year is very different, I’m feeling a lot more positive, and even happy about turning a year older. So I thought it would be nice to reflect and share what I’ve learned on my 28 trips around the sun.
- Mental health and upkeep is a life essential. We all go through a lot from childhood to adulthood, if you haven’t properly dealt with something traumatic or that affected your life it will likely rear its head at some point in your emotions, behavior and/or relationships. Seeing a therapist every now and again just to offload is a worthwhile investment to help you navigate any situation that’s causing you anxiety, making you depressed or unhappy. But therapy aside, I think having a consistent spiritual practice is the most accessible and best way to take care of your mind and spirit, I really believe life feels a lot less overwhelming for me when I keep up with my spiritual practice.
- Get financially savvy. I was one of those happy go lucky people who would spend all their money on whatever they wanted because I didn’t believe in “depriving” myself. Huh! It was nice while it lasted but I quickly learned that the sooner you learn financial discipline i.e that foreign concept called delayed gratification, the better off you will be. That means saving a good portion of everything you earn, trying to stay out of unnecessary debt and reducing whatever debt you do have already. Your future self will thank you for it.
- Be kind to yourself. I don’t think most of us realize what unkind things we say to ourselves. Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself and be intentional about affirming and lifting yourself up especially in those moments when things aren’t going as well as you had hoped in any area of your life.
- Resist the urge to compare your life to others’. In the age of social media where we are constantly seeing “other kids” doing big things – buying a home, a new car, getting that fancy schmancy job, flaunting a banging body, being a jetsetter and the list is endless – it can get difficult not to look at your life and think “WTF am I doing wrong here?” But what we often forget is that everyone of us is on a different path. Yes, we may be journeying adjacent to one another but there are no two people in the same lane boo. Focus on your own lane, you will get to where you need to in your own time.
- Not everyone will like you. Come to terms with the truth of who are and get comfortable with the reality that you will not be everybody’s cup of tea. The older I get, the more I realize how silly it is to think that everyone you encounter (even those you never personally meet) will like who are you are. That’s just not how the world works and the sooner you detach from wanting to be liked, the sooner you can start to live your best life!
- Know thyself and don’t be sorry about who that is. I laugh really loud, like I don’t think I have ever laughed differently in my life. I also have a potty mouth, I feel like it really helps me show that I’m a passionate person and get my point across and emphasize whatever is making me happy, angry or sad. I also don’t like slowness, if that’s a word, I operate on a “move and think” not “think then move” basis (this could mean that I can be impulsive or that I’m spontaneous, I prefer the latter). I can be “too” much for some people (God bless your soul hunty) and I respect that, but am I sorry? Nah bruh.
- Gracefully let go of anything that no longer serves you. By serving you I mean that we should strive to have a life where everything (people, possessions, jobs etc) in it brings you joy, makes you feel at peace and unburdened. This doesn’t happen without an intentional effort and, sometimes, very hard decisions. Making difficult choices isn’t fun for anyone, but I believe it’s often indicative of being brave enough to choose your highest good for yourself (which we always know deep down inside) and that’s how we steer our lives’ path.
- Be nice. Ever heard of karma? Newton’s law of motion? What you give out comes back to you. Let me give you a practical example, Namibian taxi drivers (insert hands on head emoji here). Some of the most unpredictable people on the face of the earth. I used to get into an argument weekly if not daily, I was READY for a war of words all. the. time. Then I realized, after one too many almost getting assaulted encounters, I’m just not about that life. So every time I get into a taxi now, I will greet the driver cheerfully and I’ve already decided I will not be arguing about whether I need to pay N$10 or N$20 today or any other day with this Tate. It’s rare that I have an unpleasant experience now and it was simple, I just started being nicer. It’s a peaceful life when you can meet anger and a**holeness with a smile and a kind word.
- Say no and set boundaries. Most people, myself included, have a people pleasing condition. Which means I sometimes say yes to sh*t I really don’t want to do because I don’t want be seen or thought of as a total b***h. It’s harrrrd saying no (even harder when you don’t explain your no) but I’m starting to learn that a little back bone goes a long way.
- Motivation is short-lived, be deliberate. I don’t know if I’m the exception for once thinking that there are certain things that don’t require real will power to do, like you just love going to the gym or doing your job so much and you’re motivated all the time. LIES. If you’re going to sit around waiting for motivation and passion to come by before doing what you need to do you’ll be waiting a long while boo. Being disciplined and intentional is what gets sh*t done.
So about this outfit… this skirt is an oldie, I found it on sale in Mr Price a year ago (you’re going to hear this phrase a lot on here). I love that it’s gold because you can tone it down and pair it with sneakers like I’m doing here or dress it up with a pair of heels for a night out. And then my white Converse sneakers, BEST thing in my closet right now. I’m getting a loooot of wear out of these, I have to stop myself sometimes. Yeah, happy birthday to me!!!!
Sneakers – Converse All Stars | Gold Pleated Skirt – Mr. Price | Top -Legit | Earrings – The Fix | Bag – Foschini